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May 2017

Self-Care and Dating

Dating after divorce

I went on a date with a guy last week for coffee.  We were so similar it was weird, like looking into a mirror, but he was a man.  We both are from small towns, both musicians, both working in the finance world, both conservative.  We should have hit it off wonderfully, but I can’t think of anything more boring than spending my life with someone just like me.  I want to explore, a curiosity that loves my opposite.  I’m going to end up with a guy very different from me, just need to make sure some things are the same…..   Anyway, it was kind of shoved in my face how important self care was and how unattractive it could be, and how it doesn’t seem self-sacrificial when you’re dating, it seems like a lack of character, which it isn’t, at least not always.  I wanted to take care of this guy because I could tell he worked too hard and didn’t take good enough care of himself.  But since I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, I broke it off quickly, and now I’m trying to work on self care for myself.  I’m realizing just how much I’ve been neglecting myself in the name of self-sacrifice and “for my children”.  But, they’re going to be better off if I can be a good role model for them, than if I hover over them constantly and neglect my own needs.  Need to teach these daughters how to love themselves for the times when I’m not around and it might work best if I figure out how to do it for myself.

Deeply loved by my Father, worth it.  Valuable, cherished.

Photo Credit: @Clemono2