“On the girl’s brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”
― Chris Cleave, Little Bee
I’ve been thinking about this role as a healer and it fascinates me. Some of the conflicts I have had in different situations are clicking into place, they are beginning to form a picture.
eating healthier is more important than making people happy or entertainment purposes
having a peaceful home is more important than having a fun home
it’s okay to take on the burdens of others at the cost of myself
pain is sometimes necessary and not something to be avoided at all costs
faking happiness all the time is annoying
my super sensitivity to put-downs and sarcasm
the deep pain I feel when surrounded by conflict
All of these things have healing as a priority. They don’t define me as super uptight, but are a gift to be used.
One of the most freeing phrases someone told me about when my values conflict with someone else’s was “maybe they just can’t help it”, it’s who they are. The warriors job is to battle, the geomancer to control, the entertainer to be make happy. Whereas, my job would not be to shut them out, not to try to make them like me, but to open the door for them to learn, to invite them into my world of healing for a brief time, to set appropriate boundaries that keep it a safe, healing place. Boundaries are essential for safety which is essential for healing. They can do whatever they like in their own lives, but to enter my home means to enter my haven. A place I prepare for them with my gifts, a sanctuary….not a party. not a battlefield. accepting them and allowing them the freedom to heal. It’s a different kind of hospitality.
“The things that make me different are the things that make me.” A.A. Milne
Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash