I’m trying to remember when I thought I wasn’t allowed to dream anymore, that dreaming wasn’t for adults, that having hopes was childish. It was better to play it safe and take responsibility. When did fear become bigger than hope. When did I decide it was selfish to think amazing and impossible things. When did protection become more important than adventure? Sometimes when I allow myself to open the door to belief just a tiny crack, this overwhelming feeling rumbles out of my heart and overwhelms my mind, the tears flow because I can’t hold it inside, and instead of crying and feeling stupid, I slam that door shut.
Only to wait a week and try again, open it a little more, see if I can control it, if I can handle it this time. But dreams aren’t meant to be controlled. The courage to open that door wide, to let go, to see where God will take you. Our loving God with plans bigger than anything I can imagine. Where will He take me? What is it I want?
“My heart says of you, “Seek His face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek.” ~Psalm 27:8
“I fly to Africa with one of my boys to witness how the Father of stars ignites His daughters.” ~Ann Voskamp